Christmas envy isn't so bad

December 21, 2025

With Christmas on the horizon and Hanukkah now in our rearview mirror, I want to share something I wrote (with some updates) in 2019…because it’s the right time of year.

It is not an attempt to equate Hanukkah with Christmas because there is no competition.

Christmas is one of the four best days of the year for everyone–specifically kids—along with Halloween, their birthdays and the last day of school.

For Jews like me, who celebrate Christmas with a movie and Chinese food, it is equally glorious.

And I wish everyone in my online family a glorious Christmas (or whatever or however you celebrate). It’s such a wonderful time of year.

Hanukkah is not “Christmas lite” and I confess that at this time of year, I often come down with a bad case of Christmas envy.

Until I get to the cinema followed by some General Tso’s Chicken, of course. 😊

[See the P.S. for my new favorite Hanukkah meme and the P.P.S. for four humorous music videos worth watching…with my compliments]

One thing I don’t envy this time of year is watching folks send Christmas cards to everyone in their address books…but I applaud you if that is on your “to do list.”

If you are part of the Christmas/holiday card sending brigade, I hope you got all your cards out on time …because if you didn’t, you might as well save them for next year.

And I am not putting you down if you are in that crowd…it’s always nice to receive cards (from many of YOU in fact).

May I suggest that you also send Christmas cards in July?

That is, you don’t need Christmas (or any holiday for that matter) to think about the people in your life who you love…the ones you like a lot…some that you only like a little… and even those you feel a guilty need to keep in touch with one way or another (but don’t really know why).

And give me some rope when I say this:

Hallmark cards, like traffic lights in New York City, are only a “suggestion.” 🙂

In Chapter 10 of Overdeliver, (“Playing the Long Game”), I wrote something called Christmas Cards in July.

I have shared parts of this in the past (at this time of year)–but not since the book was published in 2019–and I’ve added some additional thoughts as well.

The thesis: You can incorporate giving all year round to everyone who is part of your life; and you can use some of the specific ideas below (with your own variations) to create additional joy.

SEND CHRISTMAS CARDS IN JULY (adapted from Chapter 10 of Overdeliver):

When the doorbell rang early one December morning, I was reluctant to answer.

I could see a guy through the window wearing a brown suit (not one of my favorite fashion colors), but when I made out the UPS logo on his shirt and saw his matching brown truck in my driveway, I ran to open the door.

Whatever he had for me was going to be better than any email or PDF I was reading or downloading at the time.

Packages are welcome on my doorstep all year round.

And I’d be surprised if they aren’t appreciated by all of you.

Then later in the day, I waited in a very long line at the post office behind a guy with two full shoe boxes full of Christmas cards stamped and ready to mail.

I thought it was kind of early for that, being the week after Thanksgiving, but I admired his preparation.

And it got me thinking.

If you are one of those people who send cards to everyone important in your life sometime before Christmas, do you also stay in touch, with meaning and depth, all year round?

Kudos to you if you do since I believe that true contribution and connection with the most important people in your life is not a once-a-year thing; and I also believe it’s much more powerful when we go beyond just sending cards.

And I am not anti-Christmas so please don’t call me a Grinch.

But I would like you to consider a different take on all of this.

Thinking you have deepened your relationships with everyone in your address book for a year simply by sending a card might be worth reconsidering.

It’s not the worst thing you can do but there are additional meaningful things you may want to try.

How many of the cards that you receive during the holidays are memorable?

Do you save them?

Do they enhance your life beyond that moment?

Do you feel the need to thank the sender for sending it to you? (That is the litmus test…read on)

The beauty of thinking about everyone in your life all year round and not having to look for an excuse (or holiday) to connect is what truly builds relationship capital.

And I will add that the lumpier the packages you send, the better—but anything is better than nothing.

E-mail is nice . . . a physical card is better . . . and something that barely fits in the mailbox is best.

Here’s a quick story to illustrate why “lumpy direct mail” is also not just for folks over 50:

I was with a client a few years ago and everyone around the table was younger than me (this happens more often these days . . . which I love).

I asked the youngest person at the table (she was in her mid-20s):

“Do you own a mailbox?”

Thank goodness she said yes, because I was afraid she’d have a clarifying question to my question:

“What is a mailbox?”

Whew! Dodged that one. 🙂

Then I asked:

“When you go to your mailbox, if there is something in it that is thicker, bulkier, and not in a traditional envelope (and addressed by hand), would you open that first when you get back inside?”

She said she opens stuff like that before she gets inside, way before checking any other mail . . . and way, way before she checks her email or phone.

Remember, your least crowded Inbox is not inside your computer but rather at the end of your driveway or in the lobby of your building.

This “focus group of one” (which has been repeated many times) tells me it’s possible that sending three-dimensional packages to the people we love most might not have a minimum age requirement.

Or a date parameter.

I have since checked this out with other 20-somethings and my “advanced research” has proved the theory that they also like big packages in their mailboxes.

Lumpy packages have stuck out in crowded mailboxes for decades.

They stick out even more now in less crowded mailboxes.

They’re fun for all ages in all seasons.

And they are especially powerful when they are uber personalized.

In addition, if your customer doesn’t live in an area where parcels are routinely stolen from front porches, your package and the message will also get delivered. 😊

And keep in mind that the United States Postal Service is often kinder and gentler than whoever is responsible for delivering your email.

They will at least not label your physical mail as “spam” and it will only be undeliverable if your address book is not up to date.

As you have learned from being a reader of these Sunday blogs, list segmentation rules . . . whether it’s a huge subscriber list…or a smaller buyers list…or a list of business VIPs…or just friends and family.

Sending thoughtful gifts and small, targeted mailings is just another form of segmented, personalized direct mail that anyone can use effectively.

And then there is the power of “re-gifting” (which is not a negative term).

Believe it or not, you can make a huge impression without paying anything except the postage . . . and if you think you look like a cheap skate when you re-gift something to someone, think again.

Let me give you some examples that might inspire you to think of ways to deepen your contributions to the VIPs in your life without ever going to a store or logging onto Amazon.

And when you choose to buy gifts in advance, I dare you to prepare, through creativity and personalization, by creating “inventory”…and then surprise and delight your recipients with maximum impact.

Hopefully you will see in the examples below that it is always the thought (and the note) that counts with the gift serving as the guaranteed delivery system (of the thought and note).

Think “presence” over “presents” . . . but do both with your gifting and re-gifting.

Here are five easy ways to do this…and there are dozens more to pursue:

1. Reading is fundamental

Every book you receive as a gift that happens to be one that you own already is a potential treasure for someone else.

It also defines “thoughtful” … and ready for a mini direct mail campaign.

When I receive a duplicate book, I immediately think, “who in my life would this help, enhance, or create value for?

And it’s the note with the book that shows how much you care and how much you were thinking about them . . . and if you need to admit it’s a “re-gift,” feel free.

In addition, if you want to do a larger mini direct mail campaign, when you find a book that would be meaningful to a few people in your universe, or one that you want to share with others because it was so meaningful for you, buy a few copies and create a “gifting bookshelf.”

You can have Amazon write the gift card if you don’t want to be bothered by writing the notes and sending them yourself—but I suggest that you should feel bothered.

Bothered=caring.

That is, it’s better if you ship all the books to yourself and hand write a note to the people you are sending the book to.

I’ve got a dedicated bookcase in my office that are my “giveaway books” (from classics to favorites to some “newbies”).

Here’s a pic of that bookshelf:

2. Sugar is sweet but not for me

Re-gifting works for more than just books too.

I often receive a lot of food as gifts that I don’t eat or can’t eat (e.g., sweets).

I also often receive something delicious from an exotic place or with a unique story behind it, which is always thoughtful and generous.

First step: Send a thank you note.

I don’t have to tell you to do that of course.

That’s the “litmus test” mentioned earlier (regarding cards vs. gifts).

Cards alone are throwaways; gifts (with personal notes) are saved…and hopefully utilized…even eaten.

Don’t eat the card, however, unless you are into that sort of thing.

And it’s OK to send thank you notes for special cards…it may be above and beyond but going above and beyond is a theme of this post if you haven’t noticed yet. 🙂

Unfortunately, when the delicacies received are not on my diet, I think about someone who would appreciate the goodie(s) more than me.

In one case, I remembered a good friend of mine had just vacationed in the same exotic place some food came from, so I sent that to him with a special note saying how much he meant to me.

In another example, I received a coffee mug that was applicable to me…but even more applicable to a colleague…and since I have more mugs than I will ever get to drink from, that was an easy re-gift.

3. Promote the heroes in your life

When I hosted one of my first Titans Mastermind meetings, I presented two (clean and new) T-shirts I received for supporting a wonderful volunteer organization to two of the members who sat on a hot seat during the meeting.

They were asking for feedback and advice from the group, specifically about how they could add more charitable giving into their business models.

These “re-gifts” were presented in public and in person (I even saved on the postage!) 😊.

And I included personal notes so I could tell each of them how much I admired their missions and commitment to giving…and their courage.

The shirt was a bonus…more like a prop…for what I really wanted to tell them.

4. The endorphin rush

Walking to the table in my office where I pile up my gift packages every day for different people in my life may not register as exercise on my Apple Watch, but every package makes someone else bigger and stronger, with care and intention.

And there is no bigger achievement for me each day than figuring out how I can touch someone with something special just for them.

The reason I needed to hire an assistant who could come to my house once a week (no virtual assistant in the Philippines for me for that) was precisely to take those packages to the post office.

I love this kind of “direct mail”—but I don’t love standing in line at the post office.

5. Nothing is a throwaway

This is not about “one person’s garbage is another person’s treasure” . . . and of course, giving your unwanted goods and clothes to charity is always a good thing to do as well.

But at least once a day, if I have not created a package for someone, I walk around my office or check my bookshelves or go to my storage closet and see what reminds me of who.

In summary, as the great Jay Abraham (who wrote the foreword to Overdeliver) taught me (and what Chapter 10 is all about):

“Your relationship capital is the most valuable asset in your portfolio.”

And one huge way to achieve “compound interest” on that account is to touch everyone in your life in the most meaningful ways…and do it whenever the mood hits you…no holiday required.

You create true relationship capital by going a mile deep with people over an extended period of time, not by being a one-hit wonder to many people and only going a mile wide.

And…whenever you’ve got some “junk” lying around think about who can utilize it. 🙂

Warmly,

Brian

P.S. While Hanukkah is no Christmas, it creates lots of joy, happiness, and humor just the same.

Here’s my favorite new meme to honor this fantastic holiday (courtesy of my buddy Jeremy Weisz):