Don’t be sad that it’s over; smile because it happened.
-Dr. Suess, Gabriel García Márquez, Vin Scully (and I’m sure others)
This may sound callous:
I hate missing funerals.
Not because I’m looking for reciprocity (i.e. I want folks to show up at mine).
Rather, I am looking for maximum meaning and understanding while I’m still above ground.
More on that in a minute.
One of the most beloved and accomplished sportscasters, Vin Scully, passed away three years ago at the age of 94.
I heard the quote above about “not being sad because it’s over” attributed to him—then Googled it and there were others who said it in some form before him—but as far as I’m concerned, he gets the credit.
Apologies to Dr. Seuss and Gabriel García Márquez, two of my favorite authors. 🙂
I was reminded of this quote today for three reasons:
- The baseball season is now in full swing…spring is here…and it’s a good time to smile a little more with everything going on in the world that is less than excellent.
- The great Sean Stephenson landed in my InBox today with this quote which told me it was the right day to reprise the Scully quote:
“SMILE!!! It’s not just a polite gesture of sincerity; it’s a magnet for bliss.“
–Sean Stephenson #Sean365 - I missed a funeral I wanted to attend (again, more on that in a minute).
The beauty of Vin Scully is that he could care less about getting credit for the quote; but I know—based on following his career during my 60+ years following baseball—he cares deeply about the sentiment.
Me too.
Here’s a guy who had a front row seat to some of the most memorable games ever played…and with each one, he soaked up the experience for everything it was worth…and kept smiling every day about every one of them until the day he died.
Not a bad prescription for living a meaningful life.
I know if you follow my blog regularly you might interpret some of the “memorial-like posts” to be a little depressing (or even morbid) …and I’m pleading with you to not interpret them that way.
When I wrote about my near fatal stroke in 2019…or the passing of some of the greats of marketing (e.g., Joe Sugarman, Clayton Makepeace, Fred Catona, Jim Rutz) …and more recently the passing of my mom…it is always in the spirit of celebrating life, not mourning it.
It’s why I try to attend, in person, every funeral or memorial service of anyone who has touched me during my lifetime…not only to celebrate them…but to discover key things I missed while they were alive.
I attend and I am sad because they are gone; but concurrently I am blessed to learn how others experienced the departed, sharing what they learned from them (that I would otherwise never know).
Funerals are sad…and celebratory…and dare I say, educational.
Soaking in lost gems from folks who knew the dead better than me, creating a fuller portrait of a life well lived, is always a priceless experience.
Simply put, attend every funeral you can and pay close attention.
And…don’t be sad because (their life) is over; smile because (their life) happened. 🙂
That’s why missing the funeral of a beloved aunt today hurts even more. 🙁
Back to some additional wisdom from Vin Scully, sportscaster and prophet.
Because he wanted to keep experiencing and smiling, he incorporated this quote into his life to ensure he had joy until the end:
Some people die twice: Once when they retire, and again when they actually pass away. Fear of the first one is a big incentive for me to keep working.
That’s not to say “retirement” is a dirty word…but Scully’s quote is a bit of a warning to all of us to stay productive and engaged…and to focus on meaningful experiences no matter what your definition of retirement might be.
I lean towards a version of Dan Sullivan’s definition of retirement (Dan is the world’s top coach for entrepreneurs):
I retire from things I don’t like to do; I retire from things I don’t do well; and I retire from people I don’t want to hang around with anymore.
Based on that definition, how “retired” are you?
I’m 80% retired while working every day based on that definition.
It’s a worthwhile question to ask yourself throughout your lifetime…whether you are in your 20’s…or your 90’s.
On the same topic, adapted from Dan:
“When death comes knocking, be busy. Or at least look busy.”
Another quote from Vin Scully that got me thinking, this time about direct response marketing (although he was referring to baseball):
Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: For support, not illumination.
While I believe in the Dick Benson quote, “You have to believe your numbers since they are all you’ve got until you get new numbers,” numbers aren’t everything.
Numbers in the hands of a mathematician or an accountant are far different than in the hands of a seasoned marketer…and they must be taken in the context of multiple variables including instinct, heart and experience.
Ignore your numbers (i.e., “statistics”) at your peril; but they are not the be-all and end-all when you are illuminating a new product or promotion.
I wonder if Vin would approve of me taking his quote completely out of context. 🙂
I didn’t know where I wanted to go with this post today.
All I knew was that Vin and Sean were telling me to smile. And I was feeling guilty about missing a funeral of a loved one.
I also knew that I wanted to (sort of) apologize for writing about death and dying so often…and to let you know why I do it in a blog that is supposedly about marketing and copywriting.
Using Vin Scully, Sean Stephenson and a beloved aunt as my anchors to express this sentiment seemed appropriate.
Hopefully you don’t mind.
I’ll close with a parable that was sent to me by a member of my Titans Xcelerator Mastermind, Srikumar Rao (author, speaker, philosopher and sage).
Every person I’ve shared this parable with told me how meaningful it was to them…and I hope it’s meaningful to all of you:
A person stood at the pier and watched a ship about to embark on a long journey.
There was music and a parade, and generally the mood was festive as people were waving to the passengers.
On the other side of the pier, he noticed that a ship was coming in from a long journey. There was nobody there to greet them.
The passengers disembarked, picked up their luggage, and left.
The person couldn’t understand.
Shouldn’t it have been just the opposite?
The ship heading out was in great peril.
Who knew whether it would capsize in a storm, or whether pirates would capture the ship?
Shouldn’t the mood have been more somber and perhaps prayers were more appropriate than festivities?
The festivities and parade should have been saved for the incoming ship who weathered all the ocean threw at it and came away unscathed.
The parable is the story of life.
We celebrate the birth of a new child and mourn the passing away of a loved one.
Who knows what this child will grow up to be?
A righteous person or an evil one?
Will the soul accomplish its mission in this world?
Shouldn’t there be lots of prayer instead of celebrating?
The opposite is true at the passing of a loved one.
If they lived a righteous and accomplished life, then it would behoove us to be happier than we usually are when losing a loved one.
As an additional reminder to all of us to celebrate age, wisdom…and yes, death… one last quote from Vin Scully:
It’s a mere moment in a man’s life between an All-Star Game [played during the prime of their career] and an Old-Timers Game [played after their “retirement”].
And from Eleanor Roosevelt (whether she was a baseball fan or not):
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That’s why it’s called “the present.”
Combining Vin with Eleanor:
Smile because it happened…will happen…and is currently happening. 🙂
Warmly,
Brian
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