An entrepreneur in one of the mastermind groups I am a member of posted an email with this subject line:
What I do to live 100 years in good health…and potentially live much longer
He proceeded to share his regular routine of healthy diet, exercise, meditation and a host of other things, nothing I would disagree with or not give him props…and the result is a 41-year-old who has been told he looks 35 or less.
As a 68-year-old who has been told I don’t look a day over 63, he’s doing better than I am…so his plan seems to be working. 🙂
But there is another angle on longevity…and I want to refer to my mom…who I wrote about earlier this month in “May The Fourth Be With You” (to honor what would have been her 101st birthday).
Today I am not writing about her in a completely celebratory way…like I did in “May The Fourth…” –or maybe I am–if we can turn this post into a celebration of her life despite focusing on the days leading up to her passing.
I’ll see what I can do.
[NOTE: I read a portion of this post at her graveside funeral with immediate family only. I hope it’s meaningful to you in some way]
My mom (who many of you have gotten to know over the years through my posts about her), passed away this week, four years ago…and if you read that post from a month ago, the reasons she lived to be “almost 100,” with vivaciousness (and lots of spunk), are hidden in plain sight.
With her passing, I had to think more about it because she didn’t really exercise too much and she didn’t meditate…and while she always ate her vegetables, her diet was about the same for 9+ decades.
She did watch her salt intake…but that alone could not account for living into her 98th year.
The fact that she had no acute ailments or disease or failing organs as I sat next to her on her deathbed (in hospice in her home which was her wish), is a testament to something…and her strong beating heart seemed to be a metaphor for her life.
I couldn’t help but think:
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could say goodbye this way?
But I thought longer and harder about why she lived so long and so well.
The word that kept coming up was that she was always “interested.”
And interested in the things that really matter.
She was a child of the depression…and like so many others of that generation, she believed that life is more about experiences and people and less about money and possessions.
I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the bad news about being a child of the depression…one thing being pessimism and fear that there is always peril just around the corner…but we won’t dwell there…because her optimism for the things that mattered outweighed her pessimism and fear of the unknown by a wide margin.
I believe her keen interest in meaningful relationships with people, places and things (and hold that thought about “things”)—regardless of their monetary value or worth– was the key to her long life.
The low salt diet could only be responsible for so much…and as far as I know, she never took a cold plunge or took nutritional supplements either, two other things many incorporate into their regimen for living healthier and longer.
She probably could have eased up a bit on always trying to get a deal on everything (as covered in detail in “May The Fourth…”)…and learned to spend on herself for more creature comforts…but she always had what she needed and wanted.
Her money was never frivolously spent…which was part of her DNA.
The result was that she died with money in the bank…and with tons of possessions (very few of which would be worth much to anyone but her).
She accumulated what most of us would classify as junk…but it was her junk…and all that junk being around her was why she wanted to die peacefully at home surrounded by all of it.
I can tell you the cleanup was exhausting (thankfully, beautifully handled mostly by my sister, giving away what was useful to be used by others)…but I believe all that seemingly meaningless stuff surrounding her is also a big part of what kept her alive blissfully for 97 years.
Which brings me to a recommendation I will make to all of you (and efficiency specialists, please cover your ears):
Surround yourself with the things that bring you joy no matter how cluttered it might get.
And clutter yourself not only with your meaningful junk, but also with the meaningful people and places that bring you joy.
We just concluded the 10th Breakthrough Advertising Bootcamp, a rousing success (and watch this blog for the announcement of the next one, sometime in the next 6 months).
On that final Zoom call, we shared a video of Gene Schwartz, the author of Breakthrough Advertising, talking about how he wrote and how writer’s block was never a thing for him.
One of the elements that contributed to that feeling was surrounding himself with familiar things, focusing on a meticulous routine, at the same desk every time he sat down to write…even if a bit messy and cluttered…which always maximized his creative juices.
He conveniently didn’t mention that he had one of the liveliest minds of anyone I have ever met (and anyone who has ever lived in the history of marketing and copywriting) …so he wasn’t just another ordinary guy doing extraordinary things.
And he had an egg timer at arm’s length on his messy desk to practice his version of The Pomodoro Method.
So there’s all of that too. 🙂
Back to his messy desk…and my mom’s messy house…
Don’t worry about the cleanup of the “things” you leave behind …leave that to others…just pay extra close attention to the most important people and places in your life every day…and simply put, be immersed (literally and figuratively) in your life in all ways and at all times.
Including living with clutter if that’s what floats your boat.
To the naked eye my mom didn’t accomplish anything “significant” in her lifetime…she left me (and everyone she touched) with “significance” by showing us how to live rather than simply telling us how to live.
Being “interested” included a “family first” mindset followed by “everyone else is significant too” …and she covered off on everyone who touched her by touching them back.
Hanging out with her was always a conversation about who she had been in touch with, who she needed to get in touch with, and how she could add special touches with those communications.
Without email, texting or Facebook.
How is that possible???!!!
Phone was her first choice…phone was her second choice…and snail mail was a distant third.
If you wanted my mom in your life, you had to pick up the phone…and if you don’t use a phone as a phone, you would need to regularly check your mailbox (the one at the end of your driveway, not the one inside your computer or smartphone).
Her quirky adventures in “outbound telemarketing” and how she stamped her outgoing mail (and many other ways she contributed to my world and the world of many others) are chronicled in “May The Fourth Be With You.”
Including her direct marketing prowess. 🙂
This post is a bit more melancholy than that one.
But I hope you have found her interest in you (yes, she asked about you, my online family regularly)–and the lessons she taught me about how to live 97 years with gusto–useful in some way.
Meaningful clutter indeed. 🙂
Warmly,
Brian
P.S. 97 years is nothing compared to Dan Sullivan’s goal of living to 156…and in honor of the top coach for entrepreneurs in the world getting past “halftime” (he turned 82 a couple of weeks ago), I encourage you to read “Living to be 156” which he inspired me to write in 2014, shortly after beginning this weekly blog.
Click here and then let me know what you think.
Dan’s notion of “when death comes knocking, get (be) busy” is something we can all embrace…and while Dan is about changing the world for entrepreneurs, there are less ambitious things that can keep you busy and relevant…and can keep death away too.
It’s about the choices we make for ourselves, not the choices others make for us.
That is the overriding similarity between Dan and my mom.
It’s also about creating a world of abundance, not scarcity, and abundance comes in many shapes and sizes.
The group I belonged to that Dan founded within his company Strategic Coach is called “10X” …and I’ve learned that you can 10X anything…money, influence, contribution, impact…maybe even years.
But your life is much more than an age or a number.
Becoming sugar free and gluten free is merely the beginning 🙂
I encourage you to read “Living to be 156” here.
P.P.S. I can’t help sharing again one of the most prophetic anecdotes that has become part of my regular “material” …and it applies here when talking about my mother’s passing.
It’s about your funeral and mine…and hers too:
People will be very sad at our funerals…they will cry, they will talk about what great people we were and share how much we will be missed.
But remember…at some point near the end of the service, someone will turn to the person next to them and say:
“I’m hungry. Let’s go to Denny’s.”
My mentor Marty Edelston told me that “we only go through life once so we might as well be the world’s best” …and to do that, you must be choosing your future…what you select from the past to take with you into that future and leave what you don’t need behind…and you also must think about your future being long rather than short.
And in memory of my mom, after your next “Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast” (or equivalent), phone a relative or a friend. 🙂
Terry Kurtz
May 4, 1925 – May 30, 2022