Dan Sullivan, the top coach for entrepreneurs in the world, has an exercise inside his Strategic Coach workshop that is transformational while being painfully simple at the same time.
Dan is a magician when it comes to doing that. That’s why he is at the top of the coaching pyramid.
He calls it the “Strategy Circle” and the crux of it is this (courtesy of Gemini and full attribution to Dan):
You deliberately look back at your past experiences, missteps, or current roadblocks.
Instead of bypassing negativity, you face the obstacles head-on.
You consciously extract the lessons, teachings, or wisdom from those past experiences.
This is the exact moment where you decide what is useful to carry forward and what mindsets, habits, or weights you must choose to leave behind.
Basically, the past is the past…you milk it for everything you can…use what fuels you going forward…and trash the rest.
As I said, simple yet powerful.
And necessary.
Another variation of this is about money, which Dan schooled me on when I left my beloved Boardroom Inc. in 2015, leaving some money on the table.
He said (in my words but his concept):
Money is about the past; your accumulated knowledge, wisdom, resources, relationship capital (with compounded interest over 34 years, intimate relationships and even some superficial ones) …and your intellectual property…is yours…and yours alone.
No one can ever take those lifelong assets away from you.
You take those boldly into your bigger future.
And they will all lead to money when and if you choose.
Eleven years later I can safely say he was right (of course he was). 🙂
Which brings me to my topic for today, expressed by the subject line, in two distinct parts.
Part One: Love the one you’re with
If you are a child of the 70’s you will recognize this refrain from the 1970 hit song written by the iconic Stephen Stills.
It got as high as #14 the U.S. Billboard Hot 100…which has nothing to do with why I have co-opted it to talk about living in the present.
Although I do like the song and I encourage you to use it as background music as you read on.
Living in the present is how you soak up life to the fullest…and the by-product is a bigger future Dan talks about.
One way to do this is to make every experience you are going through right now “the best ever.”
That is, it’s the best because it’s happening NOW.
And it will never be repeated in the exact way again.
I learned this practice hosting over 150 “Boardroom Dinners” with my mentor Marty Edelston.
You can read about those exquisite dinners in my book Overdeliver, pages 217-225.
You can also read this post for a truncated version.
What you need to know about them today:
At the beginning of every dinner, before I introduced the guests, Marty or I would say, “This will be the best Boardroom Dinner ever.”
And at the end, it always was.
Last week’s Titans Xcelerator call was the best one ever (while it was taking place).
And in that spirit, this blog post is my best one ever.
Although you can wait until you finish reading this post to say it. 🙂
I won’t say this happens every moment of my life…but savoring the present is a practice worth adopting.
Part 2: Love the ones you’ve been with
One of the principal assets from your past (already mentioned) is your “relationship capital.”
I used some poetic license attributing that term to Dan Sullivan (he had a different expression for it), but it was originated by one of my other mentors, Jay Abraham.
It’s the most important “capital account” you own…and it has nothing to do with money.
And it accumulates compound interest every day if you pay attention to it…and that doesn’t mean you need to be a “day trader” either.
But you can’t set it and forget it and leave it up to “market forces” alone.
You need to go deep with every person you get the privilege to spend time with (by loving each one when you are with them) …and of course get their email address. 🙂
I’m just kidding about that last part…but you do need to be able to communicate with them on an ongoing basis. That’s a given.
I had an experience this past week to express gratitude to a specific group of people I’ve been with in the past and who I loved being with…some for over a decade…and some for more than three decades.
And many I had not been in touch with for quite a while.
I compiled an email list of every Titans Mastermind member when that group was active (it was my $20,000/year group, 3 live events a year, which ran for eight years).
This compilation also included every speaker who appeared at those events, special guests at those events and some other criteria making them an intimate part of the “Titans Family” in one way or another.
The list had about 350 people on it…I went through it and pared it down to around 100…based on many folks no longer at the companies in their email addresses…and sadly, many who are no longer with us.
It was a list of badass marketers and copywriters…all with big hearts…and people I love.
Going in, there was a specific reason for the email:
To invite them to my “Titans Xcelerator Live” (event) on October 22nd and 23rd.
But as I was writing the email, and completed it, the reason for writing it took on new meaning…especially given the responses I have received.
Here it is, no AI involved, from my heart (and please pay close attention to the closing in addition to the “love language” throughout):
Dear “Lifetime Titans,”
If you are receiving this email, it means you fit into one or more of these categories:
- You are a former member of Titans Mastermind
- You were a guest speaker at a Titans event in the past
- You were a special guest at a Titans event
- You have been a supporter of Titans (or me) over the past 12 years…and some of you over my entire career (which is a long time)
And ALL of you are wonderful people who are on a select list, expertly compiled and curated. 🙂
Excuse the group email…but I wanted to tell all of you at once about a live and in-person event I am hosting (for family and friends of Titans Marketing only).
It will be held on October 22nd and 23rd…and it will be epic as all Titans events are.
And I want to extend a special invitation just for you.
It will be held at the JHouse Hotel–yes, the boutique hotel in Greenwich, Connecticut (with the funky toilets) which many of you have been to when you attended Titans events in the past.
It will be two days of wonderful speakers, discussions about all things direct response marketing (yes, we will talk about AI at a high level) …with shares from everyone who is attending, each with their special genius moves and breakthrough ideas…and with meals (including a “Boardroom-Style Intentional Dinner”).
It will be intimate…45 people in the room (max)…and we are currently at 40…but I wanted to reach out with this email to this special group to see if any of you would like to join us.
I know it’s late and your dance cards are probably full for October…but any friend of Titans is a friend for life, and we’d love to have you join us if you can.
There’s no elaborate sales page…just this.
Note that this is the price I am charging active members to Titans Xcelerator Mastermind and despite you not being a member, you qualify.
There are former Titans Mastermind members who are now members of Titans Xcelerator...so you won’t be in a room of strangers.
But you will meet some new friends whether you like it or not. 🙂
If you have any questions about the event, simply reply to this email and I will answer anything that’s on your mind.
But now that the “sales portion” of this email is complete, let me tell you the real reason I wanted to send it (in addition to the long shot of seeing you in person in a few weeks).
As I went through this list, and prepared this email, I got a warm and fuzzy feeling seeing so many people who have been part of this community from the beginning…and I also felt some loss for losing track of many of you.
Hey…life gets in the way.
I still love you all. ❤️
But this is a perfect time for a reunion. Even in email.
And if there is a hug in our future, so much the better.
Just the act of reaching out to you, to say, “thank you for being you,” fills me up whether you are interested in attending or not.
Once a Titan, always a Titan.
Hope to see at least some of you in October.
Click here.
Or email me with questions.
Or email me just to say “Hi.”
I never hid the fact that I wanted them to register for a paid event…but it was “an ask from somewhere” given my intimate relationship with everyone on this exclusive list.
The magic happened when I admitted that it was “last minute” and I revealed the real reason I was writing to them (which only revealed itself while I was writing the email).
I didn’t need them them to register…but I needed them to know what they meant to me.
I wanted to contribute to them in some way…and connect (or reconnect) meaningfully at the same time.
Mission accomplished.
I got dozens of responses, mostly regrets, and a couple of registrations.
But all were warm and heartfelt regarding how Titans Mastermind changed their businesses and how they could support me in other ways.
Each one turned into a rekindling of a previous deep relationship…making each one “the best communication ever” with these special Titans…and I even scheduled a few of them to speak on an upcoming Titans Xcelerator call.
And there will be more goodness from that email since responses are still coming in.
My advice?
Try this at home.
Contact cohorts from your past who have something profound in common (including what they have done for you in the past and vice versa) and don’t ask for anything (unless you have a live event coming up perfectly suited to them). 🙂
Or…just reach out to special people you have loved in the past and fallen out of communication.
One at a time is fine too. You don’t need “cohorts” to do this.
I’m sure many of you do something like this already…but consider this a reminder to do it now…and regularly.
You will be rewarded.
I guarantee that if you loved being with them, they loved being with you, and your Inbox will light up with love and connection…
…while adding to the compound interest inside your relationship capital account.
Warmly,
Brian
P.S. I’ve been wondering why my “relationship capital account” has accumulated so much non-monetary wealth, and has compounded so much “interest” over 45 years.
That’s not me bragging…just observing.
I think I’ve invested wisely, watched the “account” carefully, reinvested in the best stocks and bonds…er…people…and compound interest is one of those exponential multipliers where time is its friend.
Note that when I say “wealth” I mean relationships, not cash…which may be less exciting to many of you…but they are related (even when you’re not trying to make money which often I am not…but I’ve made a few bucks with my relationship capital account just the same).
I think it’s a simple formula that I will never take credit for…just one that I implement every day, handed down to me from various key mentors who had robust accounts themselves.
And now that I have hopefully motivated you to reach into your relationship capital account to contribute and connect to folks inside it, I have another “homework assignment” for you:
Create a one-page infographic of your “playbook.”
I wouldn’t have thought of this myself…it took a member of my online family to do it for me.
And I’m sure many of you have done this already.
I didn’t ask him to create it…he hardly knew me…but he had studied me.
It was a delightful surprise and I was flattered by it…and it’s pretty accurate…not 100% accurate…because after all, he got an assist from AI which is never 100% accurate. 🙂
The author is Dr. Mehmet Nurettin Alabay…we met on LinkedIn where he was teaching principles from Breakthrough Advertising…which prompted me to “invest” in him (i.e. I made a deposit into my relationship capital account by inviting him to the “Breakthrough Advertising Bootcamp”).
Now we are friends for life.
Not because he flattered me…but because he was curious and proactive with his curiosity…and now it gave me something I can share with you (i.e. you should consider a one page infographic of your very own).
The reason you should create one:
It is reductionist and expansive at the same time.
Reductionist because you have to get everything you are known for (your “playbook”) on one page.
That will keep you humble…and succinct…two things I can always have more of in my life…and I am not alone.
We are all pretty smart, but we only know “everything about something” and not everything about everything.
Expansive because you should ask once you complete it:
“What’s next?”
Not to beat yourself up about what’s missing inside your playbook to date…but to build on the aforementioned bigger future by taking what’s most useful from the past…while always living in the present.
And we’re back to where I started this post. 🙂
Here’s my first playbook infographic…I plan to do more (and only use AI for design, not copy)…and send me yours once you complete it:
