Thanksgiving is not the time for “resolutions” (that’s for the New Year)…but it seems to be the time when everyone makes “declarations” of thankfulness, love of family (and friends)… and gratefulness.
But will those declarations last as long as your new year’s resolution to lose 10 pounds as you reach for that second piece of cake on January 15th?
Side note: I know what Thanksgiving is not about— Discussions about politics. My 94 year old Mom swings one way while my 25 year old nephew swings the other way and never the two should (or will) meet…not in my house anyway!
I shut those discussions down immediately.
But I won’t shut down discussions about “Thanksgiving Declarations.”
I want to encourage you to make themlast more than a day…maybe even through this entire weekend (if you haven’t broken them already). 🙂
I think I have some possible ways for you to do that.
How is it that you can spend much of the year with feelings of envy, jealousy, anger (and all of the emotions that stop us in our tracks)…while on Thanksgiving you are so “thankful” and “grateful” for everyone and everything in your life?
My post from Thanksgivings past, Gratefulness is not a Thanksgiving resolution, gives a specific example of how this works…and I will try to give you some other angles on it today.
I am even more convinced this year about “gratefulness over envy” after yet another year of coaching entrepreneurs through the gauntlet of envy, jealousy and anger.
I see it every day and in every way imaginable with the members of Titans Mastermind, Titans Master Class (and I assume it will be the same inTitans Xcelerator—see the P.S.)– and with my private coaching clients: High-achieving entrepreneurs and business leaders feeling these emotions in spades.
Especially if they are paying close attention to the myriad of “look at me posts” on Facebook for example.
“Why does that jerk look so happy all the time while I’ve got so much mess in my life?”
If this happens to you, one thing I suggest is not to read those posts.
(How I learned to do this from a doctor who answered this question with the obvious response: “Hey doc…I keep hitting my head against the wall and it hurts all the time…what should I do?”)
If you absolutely can’t avoid them or not let them bug you, delete your Facebook account.
However, if you can’t look away and you think you need Facebook, you must deal with these kinds of things differently (and that includes going beyond Facebook and dare I say, into “real life”).
And the answer is not to look for posts or stories about people’s ugly back stage rather than their braggadocios front stage to make you feel better about yourself.
Here is the simple solution:
Whenever envy, jealousy or anger– or any other emotion creeps into your brain about someone else that can set you back (Facebook OR real life)– you need to get your mind to switch over, on recognition that this is happening, to gratefulness.
First of all, it’s not all unicorns and rainbows for those who are strutting their stuff as mentioned above—remember that being interested instead of interesting is the key to good relationships– and taking a “far too interesting person” far too seriously is not healthy…and we also know it’s not their full story.
In addition, if the person is someone you know well, think about the ways they could teach or share with you the things that led or are leading to their success, happiness, contentment…whatever you are feeling anxious about…and that you are not experiencing yourself.
Believe me—if it’s going so well for them they will be willing to share their magic.
And you can drink up some of their good karma—that is, drink up the good they share with gratefulness and discard the rest—and the result will be that you will love them rather than envy them.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it? I know it’s not easy but if you can conquer this, it is so freeing.
Envy is the specific emotion that causes illness. And I didn’t invent this.
According to the Brazilian psychoanalyst, philosopher and social scientist Norberto R. Keppe, Ph.D in his book, The Origen of Illness:
The envious person has inverted values because he rejects what is positive: goodness and happiness—and then when he has made a mess of his life, he complains that he doesn’t feel well…
In order to be healthy, we must be grateful, but if our envy is too strong, we will reject any feelings of gratitude.
I maintain—and it’s often not easy—to allow your emotional state to go to gratefulness for the “share” from those you are envious of…it’s a tough trick but a worthwhile one to work and pull off.
You also must recognize that every day above ground is a reason for gratefulness (which you must take inventory of regularly).
Check out The Five Minute Journalfor that.
And check out this video from actor Mathew McConaughey on “happiness” vs. “joy” (which was sent to me by a special friend). I recommend you watch it when you have 9 minutes.
I will give you a quick summary—he says it better than I can ever say it:
We’ve all got two wolves in us. A good one and a bad one. And they both want to eat.
Happiness is an emotional response to an outcome…it is a standard we cannot sustain…because we immediately raise it every time we attain it…it is result reliant.
Joy…[is] something else. Joy is not a choice. It’s not a response to something else. It’s a constant. Joy is the feeling that we have from doing what we are fashioned to do. No matter the outcome…joy is always in process. It’s under construction. It is in constant approach.
The easiest way to dissect success [through joy] is through gratitude.
Being grateful for the good stuff going on with others (and yourself) instead of being envious (or jealous) is the key to creating joy– which McConaughey is so clear in how he differentiates joy from happiness.
It is the Holy Grail in my opinion.
I knew this before almost dying from my stroke in April…and I am much more aware of it now.
One more quote that tells us why it’s important to work towards gratitude over envy–from Keith Cunningham, author of The Road Less Stupid:
“Hell on earth would be to look in the mirror and meet the man I could have been.”
I know you can’t get there with being envious.
You must get there by being joyful…which leads to gratefulness.
And then not just being grateful for one day a year on Thanksgiving.
P.S. If you missed my special email on Friday I still want you to add a whole lot of gratefulness to your 2020 and join Titans Xcelerator.
I’ve pasted in that email below announcing this very special program:
It’s here…and ready for prime time:
I have been talking about this idea for a while.
(I know you might even be sick of me promising this for over a year)!
Titans Xcelerator is a virtual mastermind group…using the teachings and some of the format of my more expensive live mastermind groups…that I think can change your business.
Especially if you consider yourself one of the next “greatest generation of direct response marketers.”
On January 9th we are launching this very special program–and you can be a charter member at a price only available until the end of the year, never to be offered again.
And you can lock into this price for as long as you stay in the group.
But the price isn’t the most important thing about this offer…
Since leaving Boardroom 5 years ago, I was convinced that I had to teach what I had done over 34 years–with a “one to many” approach.
But with my Titans Mastermind and Titans Master Class only, I couldn’t reach a whole lot of that “many.”
I needed to extend that reach.
(Although over those 5 years, the Titans in my groups have certainly gone forth and multiplied in their niches, with their online and offline families…and their businesses have grown considerably with more impact).
But that wasn’t enough for me although it has been very rewarding.
And as I hinted at earlier, the price was prohibitive for many (i.e. $11,500 to $25,000 a year).
Well, earlier this year I started getting clarity on what this “third program” would look like.
And after months of hammering out the details it’s ready.
Today, I’m announcing the addition of a third program that’s designed to let me work with you if Titans Mastermind or Titans Master Class is not a fit for you right now.
Announcing Titans Xcelerator:
Titans Xcelerator is a more accessible mastermind for entrepreneurs and business leaders interested in multi-channel direct response marketing…and for anyone who wants to work with me (and the people I trust most).
What you will receive in Titans Xcelerator:
- A LIVE monthly, interactive group coaching call, with hot seats, hosted by me
- A physical package mailed to your door each month with exclusive training from past Titans Mastermind and Titans Master Class events, hand selected SWIPE FILES, interviews with marketing experts…and more.
- Access to my exclusive network of top marketers, copywriters and business builders who will help you get from where you are now to where you want to be in the next year…and beyond.
- A community who will celebrate your wins, pick you up when you stumble and coach you when you most need it.
In January I’m launching Xcelerator for just $2,000/year or $200/month.
(But you won’t pay that if you join today)
That is, it goes up to $2,000 (or $2,400) per year as of January 1st.
Even at that price this program is a bargain—that is what you would pay for many online courses and programs, many of which are only digital with no interaction and no physical product.
Could it be possible that if you ever bought one of those digital downloads it is still sitting on your hard drive since the day you bought it, never to be looked at again?
And even if you have looked at it (and used it), Titans Xcelerator is a much different experience.
With Titans Xcelerator you’re getting access to the Titans of direct response in marketing and copywriting—online and offline–with monthly training and coaching for a full year.
Since you are part of my online extended family, you can join today for a lot less than the upcoming “January 1st retail price.”
Titans Xcelerator is the perfect way for you to get my direct input (and the input of so many other heroes and geniuses) on your business—specifically my heroes and geniuses who I trust more than anyone for my own mentorship and education.
Once again, our first call together will be on January 9th.
And as you might expect, I need to “overdeliver” some more—click on the link for some additional surprises I have lined up for you, beginning the moment you join. 🙂
If you’d like to work with me (and all of my Titans) in 2020, Titans Xcelerator is the easiest and most powerful way to do that…and with this charter offer it will be the least expensive tuition I will ever offer as well.